Annemarialana had been sitting on her Father's Whitestone circle when Kae'la Sha'enlas came in quietly, asking if it would be okay to talk for a time. Annemari nodded her assent and beckoned Kae'la into the room. Kae'la seemed a little awed by the large, formal-looking room, and Annemari smiled faintly at it. This was her Father's place, a place where she felt closest to him.

She was actually glad for the company, which surprised her. She had been brooding too much lately, especially since the newest set of dreams had started plaguing her. Today she was simply contemplating the old, worn elven doll from her youth. The pale cornsilk hair was frizzed on the ends and there were a few bald spots from rough handling. It was wearing a simple, pink dress that her mother had made, years ago. The dress was torn in a few places and starting to unravel along the hem.

Sighing, Annemari pulled her eyes away from the doll and made herself still her hands. She tried to put her full attention to Kae'la's conversation, but her mind kept wandering back to the doll and to the past.

At another lull in the conversation, Annemari changed the topic suddenly and asked the young Bladesinger, "If you could do any single thing you wanted.. what would you do?" As she asked it, her mind wasn't really on Kae'la's response, but her own concerns.

Kae'la was unprepared for the question, especially coming from Annemari. No one in the Vallenwoods was accustomed to Annemari showing any particular interest in them as individuals.

"I haven't been asked that in a long time." Kae'la answered after a moment.

"You're lucky to have been asked before." Annemari replied softly, managing to keep the faint bitterness she felt out of the tone of her voice.

Surprised once again, Kae'la asked, "No one's ever asked you?"

Annemari shook her head and pressed the question again, eager to turn the topic away from herself and her own thoughts. She strained to focus on Kae'la's feelings.

After a moment of thought, Kae'la began with, "Since I was a little girl, I have always loved to dance. My mom always thought it was amusing, but she encouraged it..."

"It seems you chose the right path." Annemari told her quietly.

Kae'la paused in her narrative to nod in agreement with Annemari. "When the Song found me, my dance took on a whole new dimension. It combined with my emotions in a way it only lightly did before."

Annemari smiled at Kae'la. "You are very lucky."

Kae'la agreed, "And that's just it... I would like others to feel that joy. To feel like I do now."

"That is a difficult thing to accomplish."

"Quite... But it's just a dream." Kae'la sighed softly, and smiled before continuing, "I'm happy with my life. I have few regrets. Maybe these current wars are tough, but they'll pass."

Annemari was glad to hear another optimistic voice and nodded encouragingly.

"But the Song," Kae'la said, "it lasts forever..."

Annemarialana was stunned for a moment by Kae'la's words, as they sank in and were quickly absorbed, falling into place with the other problems that had been on her mind. Beraal's sad words, that the Forest wasn't singing.. and now Kae'la's feeling about the Song. Annemari chewed her bottom lip as she thought it over.

"Of course! That's it. The forest hasn't ceased singing.. too many have ceased listenning." Annemari said enthusiastically, more for herself than for her companion. Kae'la smiled at the young Druid's excitement.

"That's an interesting way to look at it... so true..." Kae'la said consideringly.

"Thank you." Annemari said sincerely.

"I didn't do anything.." Kae'la said, looking slightly confused.

"Yes you did!" Annemari beamed brightly at Kae'la, feeling much better while her troubles were momentarily forgotten.

"I just told you my dream.." Kae'la said with denial still in her tone. This seemed to remind her of the original conversation and she tried to guide it back again, "but, how about you? If you could do any one thing?"

Annemari closed her eyes for a moment, her happiness melting out of her again. The memories flooded back in and Annemari fought to control the tears that were welling up in her eyes and closing off her throat. She didn't want to remember.. but at the same time she had an encredible need to share her hurt, to help relieve it in some way.

"I would go back to Tropica.." Annemari said without opening her eyes, "to find out fore sure what had happened."

Annemari bit her bottom lip and shook her head.

"What happened?" Kae'la asked softly.

Fidgeting with the doll in her hands, Annemari didn't look up at Kae'la.

"It's okay..." Kae'la encouraged her.

Annemarialana wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. It was so unbelievable to her, she felt it was really someone else's story. She hoped every day that she would wake up and realize it had all been a dream, that she had never left. She would wake up warm and safe in her bed, just down the hall from her mother and father...

Annemari sighed. She had grown up enough to know she couldn't wish away her fears and have all her troubles chased away by her mother's arms. "You know, it's funny. I thought this thing was lost forever.. but I dreamed of it tucked in a hidden knot of a tree.. I'd forgotten, while we were away.. that I used to hide things there."

She smoothed the doll's hair gently while she talked, never taking her eyes off it. Glancing up at Kae'la for encouragement, Annemari whispered, "I had a son."

Kae'la had the good grace to cover up most of her surprise, though her eyes went wide and she blinked as she tried to absorbe the unusual revelation.

Annemari continued, in a faltering voice, "Aldus and I.. while I was gone. I was supposed to tell Father.. and they were supposed to come."

Stopping abruptly, Annemari stared at the doll again. Her eyes were glistenning with unshed tears. She stubbornly kept them from tickling down her cheeks.

Kae'la moved toward Annemari, offering what meager comfort she could. Annemari hardly noticed, though, as lost in her thoughs as she was.

"They're dead." Annemari said quietly while Kae'la murmured something she wasn't paying any attention to. "Both of them."

"Jungle fever." Annemari continued, by way of explaination. "I was so sure they'd get well, and come... I didn't even think to ask where the messenger was from."

Annemari shook her head. "Every day.." Every day she had waited.. waited for te event that didn't come. Every day a little more of her gave into despair and died. Every day she lost more of her will to live. Every day.

"I'm sorry..." Kae'la whispered, not certain what to do in the face of such evident grief, especially from someone who so rarely showed any emotion. She seemed torn between throwing her arms around Annemarialana and leaving her to grieve in peace.

"It's not your fault," Annemari whispered, keeping her voice under tight control. "It isn't anyone's fault. That's just.. life."

Annemari rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands while Kae'la sighed softly. She drew away slightly from the young Druid, sensing that the moment for contact, if it had ever existed, was passed by now.

"Is there anything I can do?" Kae'la offered helplessly.

"I.. I don't know why.. why I said anything." Annemari said with a shake of her head. "It's been so long. I thought I should have forgotten by now."

Kae'la shook her head, "no, never forget. Those memories are what you have left of them..." Turning towards Annemari, Kae'la reinforced her words, saying "Always remember."

Annemari shook her head. "I don't think I could forget, anyway." Zandreya knew she had tried. She had tried every day that they didn't come back... Suddenly, Annemari felt very, very tired. "I should be going," she said by way of excuse.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Kae'la said, giving Annemari an anxious look.

"I'm okay..." Annemari said unconvincingly with a faint, forced smile.

Kae'la suddnely said hesitantly, "If you ever need to talk. I'd be honored..." and lowering her voice before continuing, she whispered, "friend..." Kae'la looked up at Annemari, as if afraid of the response.

At the word "honored," Annemari stiffened slightly. "An honor?" She said bitterly. "Do you want to be my friend because it brings you.. honor?" Annemari couldn't keep the disgust entirely from her voice. Her childhood apprehensions filled her mind.

"I guess I'm still a little caught up on formalities," Kae'la began, not quite understanding Annemari's response, "I'm still a little nervous around you..."

"If you feel honorbound to be nice to me, you needn't bother." Annemari said as she uncurled her legs from under her and stood up on her Father's circle. Hopping down gently to the ground, Annemari smoothed out her skirt.

Suddenly realizing what had happened, Kae'la shook her head. "No, you misunderstood."

Annemari gave Kae'la a look of mingled contempt and disappointment. For a while she had been lulled into believing Kae'la could really be a friend, and she didn't know if she was more disgusted with herself or disappointed in Kae'la.

"Do I?" Annemari whispered bitterly.

Kae'la bit her bottom lip pensively. "I don't know how to explain... I don't want you to misunderstand. I haven't deceived you tonight. This meant alot to me."

Fidgeting uncomfortably at the denial of her conclusion, Annemari murmured, "Okay.." without really meaning it.

"It makes me feel good to know that I could do something for you..." Kae'la continued despite Annemari's interruption. "Cause you've done lots for me, and don't even know it..."

Softenning slightly, Annemari looked at Kae'la with much less suspicion and almost allowed those warm feelings to win her over again.

"I guess I just have a way of losing my foot in my mouth sometimes," Kae'la whispered shamefully. "I shouldn't have said anything. I was just hoping..."

Annemari couldn't deny the sincerity and pain in Kae'la's voice and countenance any longer. Softenning completely, she sighed and even smiled faintly.

"I'm sorry, Kae'la. I'm not used to trusting." She whispered sincerely.

Kae'la smiled warmly, "It's okay. You've been through alot. I've had it easy. I guess I don't blame you."

Shaking her head in denial, Annemari answered, "All of us have trials.. they are just different. I shouldn't be glorified because of mine, or anything.."

Kae'la nodded slowly in consideration.

Annemari felt tired all over and said her good nights. As she went slowly to her room, she thought over all that had happened tonight, and also Rhiadora's suggestion... Why didn't she go to Tropica to find out?